What would it be like if ALL children grew up to be confident, capable, happy adults??? Looking at today’s world, this is greatly needed – and we have a long way to go!
Human beings are amazingly malleable, with each life experience adding to the totality of who we are. In the first years of life, a child is like a blank canvas. Early experiences exert a foundational influence upon the personality picture that will emerge. By adulthood, we have established most of the patterns and belief systems that make up our way of being, so individual events are less impactful.
Is it possible to consistently raise children in a way that maximizes their ability to become effective, happy, and contributing members of society? Yes! This posting discusses resources for parents that can support them in raising resilient children.
This is part two in a series. If you have not read How Was Your Childhood?, the post above this one, I recommend starting there. Each individual’s early life forms the foundation for how they will parent their own children.
Need For a New Parenting Approach
Shootings and bombings are evidence that today’s society is allowing young people to fall through holes in the safety net. Some of these youngsters then mature into adults with increased potential for violence. I believe that if ALL people grew up with truly supportive parenting, shocking violent events, terrorism, and even war would almost completely cease to exist.
My first exposure to a new parenting model was a revelation. It makes so much sense. I wish I had been raised this way. And I absolutely wish I’d had this knowledge when I had my son.
Human Design forms the core of this model. This chart interpretation system is a relative newcomer, ‘discovered’ in 1987. So almost all of the world’s adults were raised without the benefit of Human Design’s perspective. Injecting an understanding of the Human Design charts of a child and of both parents can completely alter how the parents then interact with that child. Challenges that may occur within the family frequently make sense when viewed through the Human Design lens. (For more information about Human Design, I have several postings. I designate them with HD at the end of the name, if it’s not written out. Here is a link to the first posting.)
Another key component is an understanding of the stages of child development. When families are experiencing difficulties with a child, very frequently the challenge occurring is actually developmentally normal. Understanding this helps dissolve parental concerns. Developmentally appropriate strategies for managing the situation can then be found.
A third component of this parenting model is being intentional. When situations become challenging, having a clear sense of where you are heading makes staying on track easier. I clearly see the impact of the absence of intentionality in how I raised my own child.
My Parenting Experience
Despite enlightened intentions, I parented my son by trial and error. Every day I did whatever it took to keep myself sane, and my son, and everyone else in the family going until tomorrow. When it came to dealing with daily stresses, I frequently did things that I regretted. When I did or said something that I felt could negatively impact my son’s opinion of himself, his experience of life, or his future, I felt terribly guilty. But when it came to handling daily circumstances, I just couldn’t control my mouth and my actions. I operated on automatic. Even as it happened, I was aware that my behavior was controlled by patterns that were set when I was a child.
Parenting is a stressful experience for me. I am a control freak, and I expect perfection of myself and everyone else. This is particularly problematic when raising children, and I judged myself quite harshly for having unreasonable expectations. Now that I understand Human Design, I realize that control and perfectionism are inherent to my design. I see other aspects that contribute to my difficulties with being a parent. I judge myself less, and simultaneously have an easier time relating with both my son and with people in general.
How would I grade myself as a parent? Truthfully, despite my tendency to be overly self-critical, I would say that I am average. I’m just one parent of the many, everywhere, who deal with ongoing challenges with their family lives.
I think the most important thing we can do to support our children is to appropriately meet their needs. Of course, basic survival needs are critical. Assuming these are met, there are also needs for love and attention. Understanding the dynamics of these needs and others is an important part of the new parenting model.
When this occurs consistently throughout a child’s early life, they become resilient. Resilient children are confident and capable in their ability to travel through life, making their unique contributions and handling whatever circumstances arise. When faced with adversity that might knock someone else over, a resilient person bounces up, makes adjustments, and keeps going.
When we raise children to be resilient, we prepare them for happy, successful, and productive lives in the complex world of our future.
Human Design Readings
Understanding the Human Design charts of your family members can be incalculably valuable. Readings for children help you understand why they behave as they do, and provides insight into how you can support them. Having a reading for yourself as a parent helps you understand your skills, needs, habits, and preferences, and how this all plays out within the context of your family relationships. For information about readings go here.
Family readings help you understand the complex dynamics that occur within family groups, and between individual family members. How do the charts interact? How do the individuals set each other off?
Family Coaching & Workshops
Family coaching and parenting workshops are available, if you are interested in more deeply exploring ways to support your children in becoming empowered and confident contributors to the world.
Human Design Charts Are Free!
Request Your Free Chart
Please send the following information to me at . I will send your chart by e-mail, along with a basic interpretation document.
Name, Birth date, Birth time (as accurately as you know it), Birth location, e-mail address
(Your information remains confidential, and I do not keep it on the Internet. Requesting a free chart places you under no obligation to have a reading.)
You may also request charts for other people. This can help you understand why people behave as they do, and your relationships with them.
As always, you are so very much appreciated. Thank you for being there.
Have Fun with Your Children!
Sandra Lynn Lee
Licensed Massage Practitioner, Washington
Human Design Specialist
Certified Practitioner – The Emotion Code/The Body Code
Certified Healing Codes Practitioner
Everything in this newsletter is the opinion of the author and is provided for informational and educational purposes only. When information is drawn from outside sources, both credit and access to the source are given, when available.
Copyright 2013 Miracle Inspirations. All rights reserved.