Difficult Relationships & Surviving the Holidays

 May you increase your capacity to live fully and to be self-expressed this holiday season!

May you increase your capacity to live fully and to be self-expressed this holiday season!

The Holidays are a time for celebration, gratitude, and love.

But for many people this is a season that is filled with … stress.

One huge source of holiday stress is family relationships. Sometimes it is the people who are supposed to love us the most, who may actually be the most judgmental and unaccepting.

You are expected to attend gatherings. But you dread them, because it just doesn’t feel safe to be yourself in those awkward social situations.

Would you like a practical strategy for making it through these uncomfortable interactions?

Fortunately, this strategy applies equally to all relationships, and to challenging situations all year. What a deal!

This is Part 1 of a three-part mini series about Taking Things Personally. Look for Part 2 in January.

Relationship Survival Strategy

 Relationships can be challenging!

Relationships can be challenging!

Don’t take things personally.

I have a natural and instinctive survival mechanism. When confronted, I believe that everything happens because of me. I’m the center of the universe, and everything revolves around and is caused by me. (Part 2 of this Taking Things Personally mini series will expand on this in January.)

This I’m-the-center-of-everything perspective is the origin of the instinctive tendency that human beings have to take things personally.

When my mother’s tone of voice sounds critical, or mean, or judgmental, I naturally assume that I did something to cause that - because I’m the cause of everything.

I think, “What did I DO WRONG???” And I panic.

My instinctive response is just to her tone of voice. Her words and the content of what she’s saying then pile on top. Reacting to it all, I’m a bumbling mess.

Here’s an example of how I apply the survival strategy. Don’t take things personally.

  1. Become aware that I’m reacting and freaked out. Awareness is the key!

  2. Breathe. Pause and consider what to do.

  3. Recognize that I’m taking what she said personally. Increased awareness.

  4. Consciously choose how to respond. I take control of how I feel.

  5. “Mother’s response is her response. It’s not about me!”

  6. I imagine that I energetically side step, getting out of the pathway of her words. The words and energy she is throwing at me go flying by, whirl around and return to her!

  7. I let it go.

  8. I choose to be as much my self as I am able to be.

  9. Breathe

So, what do you think? Do you want to try it? It certainly can’t make things any worse, right?

Imagine using this strategy in your life, at your family’s holiday gathering.

Really. Imagine being there. Every bit of practice you have will make it easier to implement a new strategy in the moment. When that challenging person is in front of you, can you find the presence of mind to try a new way to respond?

Getting this so it works in the moment takes practice. You’re choosing to change a conditioned pattern that has been reinforced for your entire life. Reprogramming this is not easy!

world love - kudryashka.jpeg

It’s okay if you are not able to change your conditioned response when the person is right there. Once you’re alone and away from others, you can pause and breathe. Mentally walk through the process. You will get a chance to try again! Every tiny shift in your mind and emotional experience is progress.

May this survival strategy make a difference for you!

Look for Part 2 in this Taking Things Personally mini series in January. Let’s explore the biology and other factors contributing to the instinctive human tendency to Take Things Personally.

The Value of Understanding Your Personal Chart

Beyond this general strategy, understanding the specifics of your personal Human Design chart helps you make sense of how you experience life and relationships all of the time.

For long term relationships, like with family, it might be worthwhile getting overall impressions of their charts. At least for the family members with whom you consistently butt heads.

Anytime things go sideways in one of my primary relationships, I always look at the Human Design charts.

One day, I went to my mother’s house, and she picked a fight. We were both upset, and I was in tears. Later, I looked at our Human Design charts. And it all made sense. From the perspectives of our individual charts, we each experienced what happened differently. With this understanding, I was no longer upset.

Would you like to learn more about your Human Design?

It is my pleasure helping you understanding how you experience your Human Design. Let’s find practical strategies for transforming your experience of yourself and your relationships.

January …

Remember, look for Part 2 in this Taking Things Personally mini series in January.

Enjoy. Please let me know what you think!

Thumbs up or thumbs down.

Thank you for Listening

DO YOU LIKE THE BLOG?

Do you have feedback or suggestions? Please leave a comment below. Whatever your thoughts, I value and appreciate your input.

Have a Glorious 2019!

SUBSCRIBE TO THE BLOG

If you wish to subscribe, I Welcome You! You will receive free gifts and other content that is only available to subscribers. Please click here. Any suggestions and comments you have are desired.

THE WEBSITE

For the website associated with this Breathe - Life's Inspirations blog, click here.

THANK YOU'S, COMMENTS & SUGGESTIONS

I love hearing from you and receiving your feedback. What do you want to read here? Please comment at the end of this post, and feel free to contact me by email. sandra@MiracleInspirations.com

As always, you are so very much appreciated.

SHARE THIS BLOG

You are welcome to share the link with your friends. Thank you! If you copy the text, please send it in entirety, and credit the source.

APPOINTMENTS

I offer in-person appointments for bodywork and energy work, in Penticton, British Columbia, and in Olympia, Washington. And Human Design readings, Quantum Alignment System with EFT Coaching sessions, The Healing Codes, and The Emotion/Body Code, and Health Coaching sessions by telephone and Skype.

Please contact me if you have questions, would like to schedule appointments, or are interested in hosting a presentation. sandra@MiracleInspirations.com

Have a Glorious 2019!

It is a pleasure serving and supporting you.

Breathe

Love,

Sandra Lee

Licensed Massage Therapist (WA State)

Human Design Specialist Level 4

Quantum Alignment System Practitioner Level 2

Healing Codes Practitioner, The Emotion Code/The Body Code Practitioner

Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner

www.MiracleInspirations.com

sandra@MiracleInspirations.com

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. As a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition practitioner, I can help you identify imbalances and malfunctions in your body's ability to function and heal. As a bodywork practitioner and a practitioner of emotional and energetic healing modalities, I am able to provide recommendations to assist you in taking care of yourself. However, I cannot diagnose or treat any condition. Nothing in this post is designed to diagnose or treat any condition. At the bottom of this page is a link to a more extensive disclaimer.

Everything in this newsletter is the opinion of the author and is provided for informational and educational purposes only. When information is drawn from outside sources, both credit and access to the source are given, when available.

Copyright 2018 Miracle Inspirations. All rights reserved.